Where did you get that dress?

At Garden Ridge.

I was in there picking out a new spring patio umbrella and I saw it with my own eyes. A markdown table near the register littered with half-priced clothing.

It's my thought that Garden Ridge attempting to sell strapless sundresses is like a gas station selling unicorn figurines from a glass case by the door. It doesn't go, but it's something to stare at while you wait in line.

Are the new duds made out of weather-proof and fade-proof material like my new spring umbrella?

I have questions.