A Letter To The Guy That Cut Me Off In Traffic (who also happens to be the same guy that I dated a few months ago who never called, but whatever)

Oh hello,

Remember me? I am the girl that you met this past summer. We went out a few times. We seemed to get along okay but you kind-of dropped off the face of the earth there, didn’t ya? Ha ha ha. See, that’s me being breezy and joking about the fact that you never called me after our last date. You remember that night, don’t you? We went out to a nice dinner and then afterwards you stuck your tongue in my ear. I’ll be the first to admit things got a little awkward after that. Looking back, I may not have handled it that well. I apologize. But seriously, who does that? Anyhoo, I digress. My point in writing to you is not to discuss our last date, but to talk about our first one. Remember back when we were just getting to know each other and it was all fun and laughter and whatnot. Then you drove us to get an after-dinner martini and I told you that you were a terrible driver but I said it in a joking, flirty sort of way. Well, I really meant it. You were driving like a deranged squirrel flying around corners, bouncing off sidewalks and telephone poles. My life flashed before me. I thought I was going to die but you were pretty cute so I let it go…for the time being.

But now I must bring it up again because that was ME that you so rudely cut off in traffic the other day. Yes, that’s right mister. We were near the intersection of East Blvd and Scott Ave and there was random, pointless road construction that required people to merge into one lane. I tried to inch over into the flow of traffic but you came zooming in out of nowhere and cut me off. I yelled at you. I flipped you off. Then I realized it was you, and I think you realized it was me. In my defense I was having a bad day and you almost killed me. Perhaps I overreacted. Nonetheless, I am sorry we had to meet this way. I must admit I have thought of the day when we would run into each other again. Except it would be at a fancy party held in my honor where I look fabulous and am surrounded by male admirers. You would be blown away by my charm, wit, and beauty and beg for my affection. But I would be whisked off to more important dealings and you would be left with nothing but your regret and heartache. I can safely say that did not happen. Instead you will forever have a nasty vision burned into your memory of me yelling out my car window and shaking my fist in fury. Oh yes indeed, I bet you are sorry you never called.