Heavens knows that I have had my fair share of wishful thinking when it comes to relationships. We have all made ridiculous excuses such as,
“I’m sure he is going home with that girl only to make me jealous. It is because he loves me.”
“He isn’t ignoring me; he is just giving me space. It is because he is considerate.”
And of course my personal favorite,
“He broke up with me because he was scared of how much he loved me.”
But with experience comes wisdom, and most women reach a certain age when they figure out men are mostly jerks. Plain and simple. That is unless you are Vanessa Williams. In Vanessa’s song, Save the Best for Last, she seems to have fallen for a jackass. And that’s understandable. We have all been there, right ladies? But seriously, there are red flags all over this guy. Since Vanessa’s friends won’t tell her the nasty truth about her relationship (or lack thereof) – I guess I am going to have to do it.
Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon
Whoa. I know we are here to discuss your relationship, but while we are at it lets quickly examine your education. Where did you go to school? The sun never goes around the moon. This is basic science. I can safely say this has NEVER happened. And it sometimes snows in June, but this depends largely on where you live. Like Antarctica, for example.
I see the passion in your eyes
Sometimes it’s all a big surprise
You seem surprised that he is passionate about you - Red flag #1
Cause there was a time when all I did was wish
You’d tell me this was love
Its not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow its enough
You have been waiting on this guy to say he loves you for a long time. So he finally says it, and he does a shoddy job of it. And what do you do? You make excuses: “Oh no big deal, I was kind-of expecting flowers or at least a candle-lit dinner, but instead he told me he loved me beside a dumpster in my parking lot…but somehow it was enough.”
Making excuses - Red flag #2
And now we are standing face to face
Isn’t this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last
When you say the world is a crazy place are you referring to the aforementioned unseasonable weather patterns and revolving suns/moons? And aren’t you just a teeny weenie bit pissed that you were the last person he said “I love you” to? Be honest.
Oh, and waiting until you are the last person he has left to consider – Red flag #3
All of the nights you came to me
When some silly girl had set you free
You wondered how you’d make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
I wonder what’s wrong with YOU.
You hung around while he went out and slept with other girls, then let him come over in the middle of the night to tell you about it once they kicked him out? This is an all-time low for you, Vanessa – well, except for the Miss America de-crowning. That was pretty embarrassing.
Man-whore - Red flag #4 and #5 (That deserves two flags)
Using you for a place to crash after man-whoring – Red flag #6
Cause how could you give your love to someone else
And share your dreams with me
Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for
Is the one thing you can’t see
The girl that he is “giving his love to” is the one he really likes. I’m trying to be patient with you but this is getting pathetic.
“Giving love” to other women – Red flag #7
And now we are standing face to face
Isn’t this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last
Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for
Is the one thing you can’t see
Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last
You went and saved the best for last
I give this relationship one week, tops.
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