Nick Lachey is not cute enough for this song

Dear Nick,

You are lucky that you are extremely good looking. Because what’s happening below in “What’s Left of Me” is NOT how we put our best foot forward. Is this really the way you want to advertise to the world that you are back on the market?

What's Left Of Me lyrics

Watch my life, Pass me by
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

I realize you are hard-pressed to find someone with all the charm and good looks of Jess. But you simply MUST cheer up. No one likes the passive-depressive MESS that you’ve described to be your current situation. Don’t worry. At least no one else you’ll date has a creepy, blonde, preacher-dad who sometimes looks like a Rascal Flatt. See below.















Are we sure he isn’t moonlighting?

Yeah...[Chorus]Cause I want you
And I feel you
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger
Like a burning
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken
And I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have what's left of me

SO….the picture you are painting here is that you are an overly eager shell of a man. If you are only HALF the man that you want to be, would you advertise that? Maybe go through a re-building period or something so you can be whole again. Some women like to “fix” men. But you are NICK LACHEY and no one wants to introduce “Lachey Leftovers” to their friends.

I've been dying inside
Little by little
No where to go
But going out of my mind
In endless circles
Running from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

Nick, let’s be honest. This isn’t looking good. Now I’m looking at dating half of a slightly “batty” person. Does that mean you are half-batty? Hopefully. And I wouldn’t tell people that you often run from yourself. First of all you can’t actually do that. And, if you don’t stick around, who else will?

[Chorus]It's falling faster
Barely breathing
Give me something
To believe in
Tell me
It's not all in my head

See, now you’ve got me worried that you might end your life. A woman who is trying to decide whether or not to date you doesn’t need this kind of responsibility. Keep it light, Nick. KEEP IT LIGHT.

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

This is a major favor to ask of someone that you’ve never met. Maybe you should talk more about your interests? Make fun of Joe Simpson?

[Chorus]I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?

I would try eHarmony. I don’t think the whole world is ready to put you back together yet.



UPDATE: This is painful: